


Many Faces of Kinney

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Canon, Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-12-11
Updated: 2005-01-09
Packaged: 2018-12-27 02:45:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 16,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12072018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Brian awakes with bruises that he cannot explain and Justin knows exactly where they came from.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

After a less than successful nights sleep I find myself staring in the mirror wondering what Mac truck I stepped in front of. I cannot remember a goddamn thing. 

 

“Holy SHIT, what happened to my fucking face” I have a black eye, a swollen nose and a busted lip. There is no way in hell that I am going into work today. I wonder if Justin got a good look at me before he left for work today cause if he didn’t it is gonna shock the shit out of him. Unless he was involved in the same shit that I was, I must have got in a fight or the trick that I think I was with got a little too rough.

 

I shower hoping it will help to make me feel better, I doubt it though my whole body feels like shit. As the hot water hits me I feel my muscles relax a little but the minute the hot water stops every bruise and every muscle is on fire again. I quickly get dressed as fast as I can. Damn if this happened with a trick he better have been worth it. When I finally leave the bedroom I look around and notice that the loft is a war zone.

 

“Damn, what the fuck happened out here?” I will have to ask Justin when I get to the diner.

 

I walk in the diner and see no sign of Justin. I see the guys and and go sit with them at the table. “Oh, my God. What happened to your face?” leave it to Emmett to make a person feel so much better. “You and Justin must have got a little rough last night because he looks to be in the same shape as you.”

 

“What are you talking about Em?”

 

“Well he has the same bruises as you do, if not a few more. 

You really should take it easy, he is smaller than you. Plus, he seems to be a little pissed this morning.” Ted chimes in.

 

“What the fuck are you guys talking about” I ask him again and right before I repeat myself for the third time I see Justin walking out of the back with his face looking like he stepped in front of the truck just seconds before I did. I am so refused and I don’t remember a fucking thing.

 

I get up and walk toward him and as he turns and sees me he gives me this “don’t come near me. We will talk later look” but hell I have never been one to back down. 

 

“Hey Sunshine, I see you got hit by that damn truck too. What the fuck did we do last night? The loft is a total fucking mess.”

 

“Fuck off Brian I am working and no it wasn’t a fucking truck that hit me. We will talk later Brian I have to work” and with that he walks away from me. I grab his arm to stop him from walking away and for the first time since I have known him he actually looks afraid of me. I quickly let his arm go “Okay Sunshine we will talk later” I reply softly.

 

“Justin....” I start to say but I stop as he looks at me like if I say one more word he will finish the job on the rest of my body.

 

“I go back and sit with the boys “What was that all about Brian?” Mikey asks me. I just shrug my shoulders “Fuck if I know” and the rest of the breakfast I just sit and listen to Mikey and the gang talk while I try to recall what happened. After fifteen minutes I cannot take it anymore and I throw a few bucks on the table and leave “Later boys” I yell behind me knowing that they are thinking about what is going on between me and Justin.

I pull out my cell phone and dial Cynthia’s number. She answers on the second ring. “Kinnetik may I help you” she answers. “Hey Cyn, I need you to clear my schedule until further notice” I told her. My head was starting to hurt as I pulled into traffic headed back to the loft. “You got it boss I will clear it for a week and then more if you need it. Is everything alright? You sound kind of tired” she said, she had known Brian for years and he never just took off.

 

**

 

I sit down on the couch and start watching TV, my eyes wander and I start to look around the loft and as I do I can feel my eyes start to close. My bruised body and the headache pills that took are starting to take effect and right as my eyes close I see images flash in front of my eyes. Justin and I are fighting and things are being thrown and knocked over I can see punches. I suddenly jerk awake. “Holy shit that seemed real. Did that really happen?” I am so confused. I slip into a fitful sleep.

“Brian what the fuck is wrong with you. Stop it you asshole.” I hear Justin scream and I jerk awake. Its four hours later and my head feels a little better.

I hear the loft door slid open and Justin walks in cautiously. He looks at me and comes the rest of the way in closing the door behind him.

“Hey Justin what’s going on?” I say with lightness to my voice. He just looks at me.

“What?” I say. “You’re acting so weird. What the hell is going on?” he just looks before he explodes.

“What the hell is going on? What the FUCK... IS GOING ON WITH YOU?” he exploded. He is waiting for an answer and his face tells me it better not be a smart one.

“Justin I honestly have no idea what the hell is going on and I don’t remember anything about last night” I tell him honestly.

“Brian you are such an asshole. Why the hell did you freak out last night? And don’t tell me some bullshit about wanting to try it rough.”

“Justin if I knew what you were talking about I would answer you.”

“Oh so now you don’t REMEMBER that you started to attack me, that’s bullshit Brian pure bullshit. You have to have known what you were doing.” he is so pissed and I am so confused.

“Justin once again, what are you going on about and what the fuck happened to our faces?”

“You don’t fucking remember punching me?” he yells and I snap my head towards him so fast I think my headache comes back.

“WHAT? Justin I never hit you. I would NEVER hit you.”

“I know that Brian… but I was there and I know what happened. How else do you explain your fist coming at me when I asked you if you were okay with me canceling dinner to work an extra shift?”

“You freaked out and grabbed me by the neck and started punching me screaming about how you wanted to spend time with me. I know you would not hit me you fucking snapped and started going off on me. Yelling at me that you can’t believe I would do this to you.”

I got up and went to him slowly noticing how afraid he was for me to touch him. “I am sorry Justin I don’t know what happened and I promise you that I will not let it happen again.” 

“Brian promises are for shit” and before he can finish his sentence I am all over him and I can hear myself screaming at myself to stop but I keep going, my hands firmly around his throat. 

I break free of him and run for the door but before I can reach it he tackles me and pushes me back onto the floor and puts his hands back in place around my neck. 

“Brian... please...st..op” I choke out. “Pl..ea..se” I try to get out as his hands are gripping my neck. I feel the blackness start to slip over me and I do the only thing I can do and kick him in the balls, as I bring a hand up to his face I see him slowly come back to his normal self. “I love you Brian” I say through tears. “I...I...have to go to class” I say desperate to get out of there.

“Go to class sunshine, you can’t be late.” He smirks at me.

“Later Brian” I turn around and try to smile “Later” and I leave running as fast as I can. I need to talk to Lindsay right away.  
**  
“Jesus Christ I’m coming GOD” Melanie said as she came down the steps with Jenny in her arms.

“Justin sweetie, what are you doing here? What happened?” Mel asks as she let him in and closed the door. “Something is wrong with Brian Mel, I know that may not mean much to you but we all stick together and I need everyone’s help because I don’t know what to do” I say as I sit down on the sofa and try to catch my breath, I ran all the way over here.

Lindsay comes in with a sweet smile and Gus trailing behind her talking rapidly. Right when she looks at me she can tell that something is wrong. “Justin Hey, What’s wrong aren’t you supposed to be in school?”

“I think we should call the family together because I think that something is wrong with Brian that may be getting out of hand” I say as I feel tears start to come into my eyes.

In less than thirty minutes everyone is there and I spill out the events of the past night and today, as I glance over at Michael I know that he is having a hard time digesting all this information and I don’t think that he believes a word.

 

**

 

“Justin what the fuck are you talking about?” Michael said “How dare you say something like that about Brian, especially when he isn’t here to defend himself.” Michael shouts at me.

“I believe him” Mel says. All heads turn in her direction.

“Mel?” Lindsay looks at her as if to say please don’t make this situation worse.

“Well I do. I have seen him go from asshole to out right maniac.” Mel said.

“Look I am just saying that I think we need to confront him because I want him to go and see a doctor before this gets out of hand” I say so that they know that my loyalty still lies with Brian.

“I am not going to sit here and listen to this shit” Michael says and stomps to the door.

Before he reaches it there is a loud knock on the door and we all look around, knowing that the only person who is not here is Brian. He comes in and looks around at all the people.

“What’s going on? A party that I am not invited to?” and he glances over noticing me. “Sunshine I thought you had class” he states. 

“Yeah but I...umm had to stop here first” I know he doesn’t believe me and I feel my skin tingle.  
“Boy Wonder why don’t you tell Brian why you called us all here” Michael sneers.

“What the fuck is going on?” Brian asks getting upset.

I walk over to him and he grabs my arm, tight enough for those who wanted to see to notice.

“Come on Sunshine I’ll give you a ride.” he says through clenched teeth.

“Okay” I say scared of what might happen. For the first time in my life I do not want to go with Brian anywhere.

“Later” he says and leads me out the door. 

 

**

 

Instead of taking me to PIFA he heads back in the direction of the loft. I am so scared that the bile starts to rise in my stomach. “Brian I really need to go to class, we can talk about this later” I tell him hoping he will listen.

He is pissed he finds a parking space and turns the engine off. “Let’s go into the loft and talk please” he says as he opens his door to get out. I watch him walk across the car to open my door and my heart feels like it belongs to a mouse. He opens my door and I don’t move I am frozen. “Justin are you going to get out the car?” he asks.

My own voice scares me “No Brian” I say softly. He is confused and you can see he is also pissed off. “JUStin get out the car” he half screams. I hear the way he says my name and my body stills.

“No Brian I am not going into the loft with you, you are not acting normal and I will not go into that loft with you alone. Not right now” I say with all my emotion in my voice.

He snaps and grabs my neck, pulling me out the car and into the building.

I start to really panic as he is pushing me up the stairs.

“Brian please. Don’t do this.” I try to pull out of his hold but the look in his eyes scare me even more. They are darker then normal.

“Shut up Justin.” He pushes me into the loft and as I move away he grabs a drink of Beam.

“You went behind my back Justin. I hate when people go behind my back and say things about me that aren’t true.” He makes his point known by throwing the glass at my head. I duck just in time, the glass breaking against the wall.

“Brian look at me. Please stop.” I begin to get more scared as he just walks to me and backhands me. I fall to the floor. I pick myself up. Brian might be bigger then I am but I won’t let him just do this without a fight. 

He grabs my arms and puts them behind my back before I could do anything. He pushes up against me to show me he has a hard-on. 

“Brian I am not going to let you fuck me like this. I step onto his foot and he yells and pushes me away. I take this chance to take care of him. I push him back onto the bed and grab the handcuffs he used on me and hurried up and cuffed him to the bed. I sit on top of him and run my hand over his face.

“Brian, I know this isn’t you. I know there is something going on. We need to figure this out. Please Brian I love you. I don’t want to be afraid of you. I don’t like the feeling of loving you and fearing you.” I say through tears.

“Get the fuck off me Justin.” He screams at me. I shake my head and go into the other room to get a drink.

As I turn around I feel a hand on my throat. I feel myself begin to choke. I see something in his face.

“Br..ia..n. Pl..ea..se. St..op.” I chock out. I try to run my hands over his face and I see a glimpse of my Brian again before I lose the battle through tears, everything goes black.


	2. Many Faces of Kinney

Justin’s POV:

 

I woke up to find the paramedic and the cops in the loft. "What the fuck is going on?" I ask as I try and push myself off the floor. I look at Brian and he looks at me.

"Someone must have snuck up behind us and tried to strangle you Sunshine" he tells me. You have got to be fucking kidding me. I think he really believes that.

“Ya, I guess so.” I quietly reply. Not believing he actually believes what he is saying. 

“Do you have a description or see anything about them that might help us? Any tattoos? Anything that could help us identify them?” The officer asks.

“Brian, Justin.” Carl came in the loft door and looked around at the mess and at us. “What the fuck happened? Why wasn’t I called first?” 

“Well Justin here was out cold and I was knocked out as well. At least that’s what it feels like. All I know is that something happened and someone must have followed us up and when we opened the door pushed us in and started to strangle us. Justin got the worse of it.” he smoothes my arm with his hand. I want to pull away. I’m so pissed off at him right now. 

“We were just trying to get any information from them that will help us.” The officer told Carl.

“OH MY LORD. Oh Sunshine look at you” Debbie comes running and the officer stops her. “If you don’t take your hands off me I will have your balls for dinner.” I smile at Deb’s affection.

“Ma’am we can’t just let people in. Who are you?” 

“Their mother and Carl’s girlfriend now get your hands off me. I need to get to Sunshine.” She pushes past them and Carl just nods his head at the officer and before I knew it, I was being smothered in her arms. “Deb, I can’t breathe.” 

“I’m sorry baby.” She says as she pulls Brian over into the embrace. “Are my boys okay? OH Justin look at you, both of you. What the fuck happened?”

“Someone snuck in behind us and tried to strangle Justin. They must have hit me to because I can’t remember anything.” Brian tells her as his eyes fill with tears. He really believes it. “I could have lost you. I can’t go through that again.” He said while hugging me. I want to pull away from the affection but I can’t. Not while the cops or Debbie are here. 

“I’m okay Deb. I’m just sore. Are we done here?” I ask Carl who nods. I get up and go into the bathroom so I can get my emotions under control. Fuck, Brian really believes all this is someone else. From the first night he’s said the same thing. ‘Got hit by a Mac Truck’ 

“Justin, are you okay?” Deb asks from behind the closed door. “Ya, just give me a minute.” I say back. 

I come out and find that the officers were gone, all but Carl and Deb.

“I think you should come and stay with me, I don’t like the fact those assholes are still out there and can come back and finish the job.” I keep thinking they don’t have to; the asshole is standing right by me.

“No we will be okay. I have the door locked and the alarm on. I’m just going to put Justin to bed. We will come over tomorrow, Right Justin?” Brian tells her.

I simply nod my head. “Deb, they will be fine. I can have a car stay outside if you want.” Carl looks at Brian and me. “No that won’t be necessary, Sunshine and I will be perfectly fine.” Brian shakes Carl’s hand before hugging Debbie. 

“Okay, if you are sure. I just want my boys safe. I love my boys.”

“Sorry boys. When I got the call, Debbie was with me and wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“Hell no I wanted to make sure you were okay with my own eyes.” 

“It’s okay Deb. I don’t mind at all” I hug her again. “Are you okay Sunshine? I’m worried about you especially after the talk about Brian before.” She whispers in my ear. I simply just nod my head. “Well the door is always open if you want to come over.” I nod my head and whisper “Thanks” to her before she pulls away and leaves.

“Well Sunshine, we should get some sleep. Or Maybe I should take you to the hospital to make sure you are okay.”

“No, I’m fine. I just want to sleep.” I tell him as I move to the bed. I can’t sleep on the couch. It will start another fight.

We lay down and Brian pulls me to him and my body shakes. “Justin, are you sure you are okay? I know you went through a lot. I am not going to hurt you. Let’s go to sleep.” He kisses my head as he falls into a sleep. I stay awake. Every time I close my eyes, I see his hands on my neck. Someone snuck in my ass. Ya you snuck in under my guard and started to strangle me.

By six the next morning I got up and started getting dressed, I had to go. I want to get out before he wakes up. I write Brian a note telling him I had a few things to do this morning and I’ll talk to him later. I head over to Deb’s house. I knock on the door and she opens it and pulls me in and hugs me. 

“Can’t sleep sweetie?” 

“No too much on my mind.” I yawn out.

“Why don’t you go up and lay down. I’ll bring you some hot cocoa and you can get some rest.” She hugs me again. I nod as I go upstairs.

After resting for a few hours I wake to find Vic next to me. “He did it, didn’t he?” He asks me.

I don’t know what to say as I just nod my head. He hugs me and Deb walks in. I bust out in tears and they both hug me tight. 

“I knew that asshole did it. I love that boy, but he has issues. More then I can handle.” Deb replies. 

“Justin, we know Brian. We have seen his dark side. Well the darker side of asshole that is. You can stay here as long as you want. Sis and I would be happy to have you.” 

“He’s right. Justin tell us what happened.”

“I don’t remember much. We were out that night and we had a little argument. I thought it was over until we got home. He pushed me up against the wall and hands his hands around my throat. I couldn’t fight him much. He throws my up against the wall and continued to strangle me. I could feel my self-slipping out of it. I tried to lift my hand to his face but each time he would squeeze harder. I grabbed one of the pictures and hit him with it to get him to let go. It worked and the next thing I knew I was waking up with the cops there and Brian telling some lame ass story” I wipe my face with my hand.

“That’s a fucking lie Justin. Brian would NEVER do something like that.” We look up to see Michael in the doorway.

“Michael you don’t know shit. You call yourself his best friend but yet you refuse to see that he needs help. I can’t be his punching bag anymore.” I look away from them.

“You don’t have to be sweetie. You can stay here until we get everything settled.” 

“Ma, he’s lying about Brian. He wouldn’t do this”

“Michael, I have seen Brian go from himself to someone I don’t want to know. Now until we figure things out, he can stay here.” 

“I don’t believe this.” Michael said before walking out.

“Don’t worry about him. You get some more sleep.” I lie down and close my eyes and for the first time in a long time I feel safe, I fall into a deep sleep.

 

Michael’s Pov:

I can’t believe that little shit is lying about Brian like that. Brian would never do anything like that. I have to talk to Brian. I have to tell him what Justin is saying. I go to the loft and let myself in. Knowing Brian wouldn’t open the door.

“Hey Mikey, what brings you here? Coming to see if the King is okay after the attack last night?”

“Yeah, something like that. Brian, how are you?” I look him over.

“I’m fine Mikey. What do you want?” 

“I want to talk to you about Justin.”

“He’s okay to. He had it rougher then me.” Brian looks at me. “Okay, spill whatever it is you want to say just say it. I know you love to bring Justin down in my eyes.”

“With good reason Brian, he’s at Ma’s house telling them that you were the one to strangle him last night and how he hit you with a picture to get you to stop and that the next thing he knew he was waking up to cops being here.”

“You must have heard him wrong.” Brian tells me.

“No I didn’t. Brian he is telling people that you are the one who has beaten him up. That he defends himself by swinging back and that’s why you have bruises to.” 

“Well, you must have misunderstood him. Justin wouldn’t say that.” 

“He did. As a matter of fact he’s staying in my old room again. He’s there sleeping now.”

I see Brian’s eyes get black and cold and I can tell he’s pissed. “Fucking son of a bitch” He yells and I take a step back. Holy shit, could Justin be right?

I pick up my phone and call Justin’s cell as Brian goes into the kitchen.

“Yeah” I hear Justin say sleepily.

“Hey it’s Michael. I’m at Brian’s. He’s pissed. You need to come home and talk to him Justin, his eyes are black.”

“Shit, that’s how it starts. Michael, just leave him alone. Don’t pull this ‘he’s my best friend’ card. Just go. I’m on my way now” and he hangs up. I am not going to leave. Brian comes back in the room. 

“You’re still here? “ He scolds at me.

“Yes, Brian. What is going on with you?” He turns around and hits me.

“None of your fucking business. You’re always trying to get in the fucking middle of everything. I don’t fucking want you.” I back away just as Justin walks in and gets between us.

“Justin?” He looks at him.

“Ya, it’s me. Don’t I get a kiss hello?” Justin looks at him. I look at Brian and he has a smile on his face as he pulls Justin into him and kisses him. The black eyes now gone, man Justin does have a big effect on him. 

They pull apart and Brian puts his forehead to Justin’s and smiles. “Hey Sunshine”

“Hey yourself stud” Justin looks at me.

“Mikey came by to talk to me about some things.”

“So I see.” He glares at me.

We sit down and talk about things from work to school to the diner. Brian gets up and walks into the kitchen.

“Why didn’t you fucking leave. Now look at you. You have a black eye.” Justin demands.

“I couldn’t. He was in my way. If you wouldn’t have come in when you did, I don’t know what would have happened. I believe you now Justin. That was a face of Brian Kinney I never saw.” 

“I know. We need to figure out what to do.” Justin tells me.

“Yes I agree.” He leans over and looks at my eye.

“Damn he got you good.” As he gets some stuff to put on the cut above my eye and my cheek. 

“That’s fucking cold,” I say laughing.

“It will warm up.” I smile at the thought of when Brian told me that same line.

“Isn’t this a cozy situation?” Brian is standing there watching us with a look that I am not sure of.

“I was just putting some medicine on his cut.” Justin tells him, a little more quickly then it was meant to be.

“I see that. “It’ll warm up, huh Justin” he walks over and pulls me up.

“You after my little ray of Sunshine Mikey?”

“No, it isn’t like that.” I plead. Shit I can’t believe Justin was right about this and I didn’t see it.

“Brian. Let him go.” Justin is standing behind Brian with his hand on his shoulder. I see Brian’s eyes go even blacker and know that this isn’t going to be easy. It’s like he is someone totally different. He drops me and turns around and grabs Justin by the throat and pulls him into him.

“You little shit, airing out our laundry. I told you last time not to say anything. Why do you disobey me? You make me do this.” He squeezes Justin’s throat tighter and I see Justin trying to fight. Trying to pick something up to hit him with.

“Brian, let him go. You are going to fucking kill him.” I grab at his hands. He lets go with one hand and pushes me against the wall, away from them and glares at me.” You are fucking next comic boy.” And I feel an icy chill go down my back as he squeezes Justin’s throat again. I get up and try again but I can’t. Along with this new face is a newfound strength. 

I see Justin’s face going paler. Searching my eyes for help. I don’t even stop and think about it. I pick up my cell and call Carl.

“Horvath. How can I help you?” 

“Carl, its Michael. I’m at Brian’s. He’s going to kill Justin. You have to get here. FAST! I can’t get him off of him and now he’s hitting him. Please, hurry. “

“Okay Michael you need to get out of there. I’m sending some officer’s now, as well as myself.” 

“No, I can’t just leave Justin like this.” 

“Ok just stay on the line with me then. I have to know and hear what’s going on.”

“Ok. Please hurry.”

“BRIAN, PLEASE, Stop. You are going to kill him. He loves you. You love him. Fucking stop. Brian?” I beg him but he just glares at me. I don’t even know this side of Brian.

I remember what Justin said and grab a plant and hit him with it. He lets go of Justin and turns around. “Why Mikey?” is all he said before passing out.

 

I run to Justin’s side and take him in my arms. “Justin, I’m so sorry. Please hold on. Please. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. He loves you. He needs you. I will help. Please just be okay.” I cry to him. Just then Carl and a few officers rush in and the paramedics behind them.

They come over to me and Justin and I move out of the way. As they attend Justin I go over to Carl and tell him what happened. 

They take Brian into custody. Handcuffing him and leaning him against the wall. 

“How is he? How’s Justin?” Carl asks.

“He has some cuts and probably a few broken ribs. He also has a head injury. He’s not awake. We need to take him in.” 

“Okay, get going.”

“I want to go with him.” I tell Carl who nods his head. 

I walk out holding Justin’s hand. I just keep repeating “I’m sorry” to him.

Brian’s Pov:

I wake up and feel something cold on my hands, which are behind my back. I try to move them and I can’t. I look around and the loft is a mess again. Fuck, what happened. I see Carl come out of the room.

“Make sure Justin’s doctor gets these. They are what he is taking.” He hands a bag of Justin’s medicine to another officer.

“Carl? What the fuck is going on. Why am I handcuffed? Where is Justin?”

“Well, welcome back. You are going to be taken into custody Brian.” 

“What the fuck for? Where is Justin?” I demand.

“He’s on his way to the hospital.” Carl told me.

“WHAT! What happened?” I demanded to know what the fuck was going on.

“You put him there Brian. He’s going to the hospital because you attacked him. Michael hit you with a plant to knock you out to get you to stop, before you killed Justin.” I just sit there in shock.

“WHAT?” Is all I can say. I would deny it if it weren’t for the fact that Mikey was here at the time and said I did it. What is wrong with me? 

I just keep whispering Justin’s name as Carl reads me my rights and takes me to jail. All he said is that as soon as there is news he will tell me. My poor Sunshine I am so sorry.

**

I am sitting in this fucking police interview room and I have no idea what the fuck is going on. They keep saying that I hurt Justin but I don’t remember that. I don’t remember anything about the past couple of days that has to do with violence. They said that a shrink was coming here to talk to me, I hate shrinks. All they ever do is tell you that everything is your mother’s fault and you needed more love as a child. Fuck that. The door starts to open and I am brought back to the current situation.

“Hello Mr. Kinney, I am Dr. Kelly Jameson. I am going to be performing your psychological evaluation.”

I look at her and think I cannot believe that I have to do this shit. “Psychological evaluation, right, you mean my fucking crazy test” I tell her and she actually writes that down.

“Mr. Kinney, When did you first hit Justin?” she asks and looks at me waiting for a answer. “Call me Brian and I did not hit Justin, I don’t know what happened to Justin but I didn’t do it” I tell her matter- of- factly.

“Brian, Justin says that it was you that hurt him and that each time you would pass out and not remember what you had done” she tells me.

I just sit there trying to recall something about the past couple of days and maybe they are all right, maybe I did hurt Justin. Justin would not lie about something like that, I say it to myself again as I realize exactly what I am saying. Justin would not lie. “Can I see him?” I ask expecting her to tell me no before I get the question out. Instead she looks at me with sadness in her eyes, studying me, watching and waiting.

“Brian, Justin is in the hospital. He cannot talk right now, he is hooked up to life support” she tells me gently. “Do you think that maybe I can go see him?” I ask her. “Brian, I can talk to Detective Horvath but we will have to see about it.” She gets up and leaves the room and once again I am waiting, waiting in a silence that only allows me to think.

Almost an hour later she comes back into the room. “Brian, Detective Horvath thinks that under the circumstances it would be best if you wait for Justin to wake up so he can decide if he… wants… to see you.

I nod my head and tears start to silently fall. “I need to see him, I just really need to see him” and that’s it, I am shaking with tears and the uncertainty of what’s happening to me but I am more afraid of what’s going on with Justin.


	3. Many Faces of Kinney

The parts in _Italic_ are what Justin is writing on a board to read.

We know this is a short chapter and we apologize. THe next chapter will be longer. As always, please leave feedback and let us know your thoughts. We want to thank our friends for helping out when needed. KA & MA

* * *

Justin’s POV:

I stir in my sleep and I hear a familiar voice “Justin I am so sorry. Are you okay?” it was Michael.

I open my eyes and look at him, I try to say something but can’t. What the fuck is going on?

“Don’t try to talk you have a tube in your throat to help you breathe. Your lung collapsed on the way to the hospital. You really scared me Justin I thought you were going to die. But the doctor said that you should be okay” he tells me.

“I can’t believe that I did not see it. This is all my fault I shouldn’t have went over there and pissed him off. I called you and got you in the middle of it when I should have left it alone. I am so sorry” he said as tears welled in his eyes.

The door opened and the doctor came in, I was so glad that I did not have to deal with Michael’s tears. I liked Michael but he was not my best friend.

“Mr. Taylor I am glad to see that you are awake” he says. “Do you remember anything that happened between you and your partner?” he asks me.

Is he fucking kidding me, I remember every fucking thing that happened. I nod my head yes, I also motion for them to get me something to write on. “One step ahead of you” the doctor says as he hands me a small dry erase board.

>i>“Where is Brian?” I write.

“He was arrested at the scene, Mr. Novotny told the cops what happened and he was arrested, they are holding him until you decide if you want to press charges” the doctor tells me.

_“I want to see him.”_ “Justin, do you really think that that is such a good idea. I mean he DID try to kill you” Michael says.

I turn and look at him. _“Oh so now that you saw him do it first hand you believe me”_ I say and watch the emotions play across his face _“Get the fuck out, I don’t want to see you right now”_ Michael reads the board and his face freezes. “Justin look I am really sorry that I did not believe you.”

I tap the board to indicate that I mean what I wrote. He gets his jacket and gets up and leaves. The doctor just stands there watching our exchange. When Michael finally leaves the room I turn to the doctor. _“I WANT to see my boyfriend”_ I write on the board. 

“Okay Mr. Taylor I will call the detective and see about him bringing your boyfriend down to the hospital” he says as he leaves the room.

I am left alone and I hear the machines beeping and I am soothed into a peaceful calm, an hour later I see Detective Horvath step into my room. “Justin the doctor called and said that you wanted to see Brian. I wanted to make sure that you really wanted to see him” he says. I grab the board off my food tray _“I want to see him Carl.”_ I write.

“Justin you know that we are holding Brian until you decide whether or not you want to press charges” he tells me. I close my eyes and think hard. I really think Brian would be better off seeing a shrink than being prosecuted and made to serve time, I think of all the time we have spent together and I know that Brian needs help. I open my eyes and Detective Horvath is waiting patiently for my answer. 

_“I don’t want to press charges”_ I write on the board. I cannot wait until the doctor removes this tube. “Justin, are you sure you don’t want to press charges? Sometimes people get caught up in the moment and they don’t think straight” he tells me. 

I don’t even try to explain because people have never understood our relationship. They have always thought that Brian was a whore and I was too young and nothing that I say right now will change those opinions. _“Could you please just get him Carl I am not going to change my mind. Jail won’t help Brian”_ I write. 

“Okay Justin if that’s what you want. I cannot hold him, but I will give you my card, and if at any time of the day or night you need me just call” he tells me. I nod my head and he slips the card into my coat pocket that is hanging on the door. I watch him leave to go get Brian and I notice that my heart is beating so fast, like it wants to get out my chest.

**  
Brian’s POV

I can feel my heart beating like I have been running a fucking marathon. It only gets faster when I see the door to Justin’s room open and Detective Horvath step out. He walks toward me like he has a well planned agenda and I tense up for a moment, thinking that Justin has changed his mind as does not want to see me anymore. He steps up to me and pulls the key from his belt. “Mr. Kinney you are free to go” he says as he uncuffs me from the chair. 

“What are you talking about?” I cannot believe he let me go with no strings attached.

“Justin decided that he did not want to press charges, he was very adamant about this” he said as he put the cuffs and the keys back on his belt. “Know this though Brian, I will be keeping an eye on Justin and on you” he says as he walks away.

I get up and approach Justin’s door slowly, I am so scared of what I might see and for the first time in my life I am scared of myself. I push on the door and step inside. I see Justin on the bed looking right at me, there are tubes in his arm and he is a little paler than usual. There is also a breathing tube in his throat and I cannot help the tears that swell in my eyes as I press my back up against the door hoping I will disappear. He just looks at me and then he puts his hand out open palmed and waits for me to come over and connect my hand with his. I push away from the door and walk over to and put my hand in his. The tears start to fall and before I know it I am sobbing.

“I am so sorry Sunshine, I would never hurt you on purpose and I know that me saying sorry does not make you feel any better. I don’t know why I did this to you I really don’t remember” I spit out. He squeezes my hand tighter to get my attention. 

_“I don’t blame you, I know you would never hurt me on purpose”_ he writes. 

“That does not make it better Sunshine, I still should not have hurt you” I tell him through deep breaths as I try to calm my breathing.

_“If you really want to make it up to me then you can do something for me”_ he tells me. 

 

“What Sunshine I would do anything for you” and I mean it I have never been more sorry about something than I am for what I have done to Justin. He picks up the board again and writes. After a couple of minutes he turns the board around so I can read it.

_“I want us to look into a psychologist for you to see and I want you to talk to me about what you’re feeling. I also want you to know that I LOVE YOU but I will not put up with being beat up for any reason”_ I read as he took the board back so that he could erase the message and write some more.

He turned it around to me again and I took in what he wrote _“So if you don’t want to see the Psychologist you can leave right now. If you don’t get help the next time you do something like this I WILL PRESS CHARGES”_ I look into his eyes and I see the tears and the pain it took to write that down. I know that Justin loves me but I also know what it is like to live with someone who has a temper that you can never be sure of. 

“Okay Sunshine, I will see the shrink. We can pick one out together and I will go to them” I tell him.

He puts his hand back in mine and holds it to his heart before writing _“We are going to do this together.”_

I nod my head and then lean forward on the bed and we just hold hands and look at each other for a moment before he picks up the board and writes _“Get the doctor Brian, I want him to take this goddamn fucking tube OUT OF MY THROAT.”_

I laugh and get up kissing his forehead before I go to get the doctor. I return with the doctor following behind me. 

“I hear you want that tube out of your throat?” the doctor walks over and takes a look at the chart. 

I see Justin nod his head as he writes something down. He turns it around and shows the doctor. _“Yes Please, NOW, please. I’m not going to be able to give good head for awhile because of this fucking thing”_

The doctor looks at me and smirks. “Well sucks to be you Mr. Kinney.” he says and we start to laugh. Justin just looked at us and tapped his board. 

“Okay Mr. Taylor out with the tube” I watch as he removes the tube and tells Jus to breathe out as he pulls it out. Soon as it’s out Justin starts to cough. 

“Is he okay?” I ask, worried. 

“Yes that’s the normal reaction to taking the tube out.” He explains to us.

I look over at Justin rubbing his hand on his throat. “Mr. Kinney, Could you get him some water please?” the doctor asks me.

I get Justin some water, which he slowly drinks. “Thank you Brian” He roughly replies.

“Anytime Sunshine” I say as I lean over and kiss him. 

“When can I go home?” he asks as he looks at the doctor. 

“Not for a few days. We want to make sure everything is in working order before you leave.” He smiles at Justin. “Until then, just relax, drink lots of water to help your throat. Ice chips are good as well, just don’t over do it” I tell him ‘thanks’ and he leaves the room.

I sit back by Justin and run my hand up and down his arm. “I am truly sorry Justin and I promise, whatever it takes, I will make it up to you.” He takes my hand in his and smiles. 

He starts to whisper something to me. I lean over to hear him better. “Just get the help you need Brian. I love you, and I will be there with you through it all. But for now, you don’t get any fucking blowjobs since it’s your fault I had that tube in my throat.” He smiles at me to let me know it was a joke. But I still feel responsible. 

“I’m sorry Justin. I am.” 

“Bri, I am not mad. I know that you weren’t yourself during those times. But like I wrote, I won’t sit around and wonder when the next time that you aren’t going to be yourself and beat the shit out of me is going to be” He kisses my hand. “Now lets stop talking, my fucking throat hurts” I just nod my head and kiss his forehead. 

Justin closes his eyes and falls asleep. I meant what I said. I will do whatever it takes to keep him. 

I hear the door open and in walk’s Mikey. 

“What are you doing here?” He snaps at me. Damn he’s grown a backbone. When did that happen?

“Justin has forgiven me and we are going to make it work. Mikey, I am sorry for what I did to you. I would never have done that. I’m going to go see a shrink and get the help I need and find out what the fuck is going on with me.” I look away from him to Justin, knowing that whatever it is, it will be taken care of. I won’t lose Justin.

“You are sorry. You almost killed him and you told me I was next. I can’t believe I didn’t believe him. I should have seen it.” Mikey says as he looks from Justin to me. 

“Look Michael, I’m going to be okay and I will make it up to Justin as well as you. I wasn’t in my mind. I don’t remember any of it.” 

“We’ll see what happens.” Is all he said before walking back out the door. I just sit down by Justin and take his hand and just think to myself ‘Ya, he got a backbone’


	4. Many Faces of Kinney

Brian’s POV

 

It’s been a year since the shrink that Dr. Jameson recommended has been treating me. Her name is Cara Mitchell, I like her a lot she has helped me and Justin through some tough moments. While working with her I was finally diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. She said the stress of work and the events of my childhood did nothing to improve the situation. I have been on medication and attend regular sessions with her ever since the diagnosis although we have been able to cut back to twice a week.

 

Justin and I have been doing great, they released him from the hospital and he is back at PIFA getting ready to graduate. I have not hurt him since that last time and it has taken a lot of work for me to realize that at the time I had no control over a lot of my actions.

 

I am sitting here now at Dr. Mitchell’s, waiting for my appointment. I hate to wait, seeing all the people, most of whom are more fucked up than me come and go. The door opens and finally I see the woman who was in there come out before Dr. Mitchell appears to tell me that I can come in. I get up and enter the room dreading today’s session, I had a meeting today and would really just like to go home.

 

**

“Brian it’s nice to see you today, how has your week been going so far” she asks.

 

“Fine but it’s only Tuesday so technically I have not had a week yet” I tell her.

 

“Are you taking your medication?” she asks me, she always asks me that. 

 

“Yeah I am taking my meds, Justin threatened to cut me off if I even missed one” I tell her and she laughs.

 

We talk more about things in my childhood, stress, work, Justin and the stress of me dealing with my guilt and the family’s constant worry and concern for Justin and myself, which is very sweet but so fucking suffocating. I know they worry more about what I might do to Justin and I am grateful for that. Justin says that he is not worried but I still have my doubts.

 

One Hour Later…

 

“Okay Brian I think that was a good session for today” she says as I stand and began to put my coat on. 

 

“Everyday is a good session when you’re getting paid” I tell her with a smirk. She chooses to ignore me and keep talking.

 

“Make sure that Marie knows that your appointment schedule is going to change again from twice a week to once a week” she tells me. I was so relieved to find out that I slowly would be allowed to resume a normal life or…well as normal as possible. I will still have to take the meds but I consider it a small price to pay.

 

**

Justin’s POV

 

“Brian it’s a small price to pay to be able to pull that account in, you’ll only be gone for a week. You can take your meds and Dr. Mitchell’s number with you” I tell him but I know that he really does not want to hear it.

 

“What’s the problem?” I ask as I go over and sit next to him. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me close. 

 

“I…I shit I cannot believe this, this is just such bullshit” He says as he stands and heads to the window looking out at the night.

 

“What is such bullshit?” I ask.

 

“Fuck it fine, I don’t want to go without you, I am so scared that you might just decide to leave when I go” he says and I can feel my heart do a flip. ‘Did he just say that out loud?’ I must be hearing things.

 

“What?” I ask.

 

“I said that I did not want to go without you. I want you to come with me” he says and I try to contain my smile because I know that he most likely feels like the biggest lesbian right now.

 

“I would love to come with you” I tell him and before I know it we are headed toward the bed for some heavy fucking.

 

**

“Mr. Taylor we cannot let you extend the due date of the assignment, you were aware that you had to submit it before the end of the quarter” he says.

 

“It is started and won’t take more than two days to complete. I can turn it in when I get back from out of town.”

 

“I would suggest that you delay your trip for the time needed to complete the assignment in time for its due date” he tells me. I really do not want to tell this man my personal business but I doubt I am going to get what I need any other way.

 

“Mr. Johnson look, my boyfriend has been diagnosed with a personality disorder and he has been getting treated for it but he has to go out of town on business and he does not want to go alone. I have always given you the best of my work and turned it in on time, even while I was in the hospital I managed to get the work to you. All I am asking is for a little more time so that I can be there for him, while he is out of town” I tell him.

 

“Mr. Taylor I can appreciate your situation and because you have never given me any reason to not trust that your work won’t be completed I will allow for the extra time that you need. But know that if that assignment is not on my desk two days from the time you get back I will not except it” he tells me. ‘Asshole’ I think to myself.

 

I go back to the loft to find Brian looking out the window. “Something wrong Brian?” I ask coming up behind him.

 

“Just a stressful day. I told the boss you were going with me and he told me he would pay the extra money to cover your ticket, I told him to forget it and that I would pay the extra amount. He said to just make sure that the work gets finished and the accounts acquired, I told him that everything would be fine. He wanted to make sure that you were not going to be a distraction but I assured him that I would do my best to keep my mind on the account” he tells me.

 

“Brian, I will do all I can to not distract you. I don’t want to screw this up for you, are you sure you want me to go” I ask. 

 

“I have never been surer of anything” he says kissing me.

 

“OH trust me Sunshine, you aren’t a distraction. I think he is just trying to look out for me and wanted to send someone with me” he said as he moves away from me. “Don’t you see, even with the medicine they worry about me losing it Justin, I am fine with my meds and I know you believe that, but at the same time, I have my boss up my ass and not in a life-affirming good way. It just sucks having to be around them everyday and know that they think I am crazy” he says as he looks at me “I love you Justin.”

 

“I love you too and don’t let them get to you. I got an extension on my project so I can turn it in two days after we get back, it will be done way before then. I will work on it while you are in your meetings” I tell him as he smiles at me and pulls me into his arms, kissing me.

 

**

 

As we pack our bags as we get ready for our trip I cannot help but remember the last time we were in New York together. “Brian, remember the last time we were in New York? The love making we did in the hotel room” I say as memories wash over me.

 

“Course I remember that, I went to New York to find your ass after you took off with my fucking credit card” he says ‘Which you made me pay off’ I think. 

 

“I remember you in nothing but a hotel robe with a lot of food in the room, which I knew, would be there. You looked so hot. I knew we weren’t going to get out of there without having sex. But I wouldn’t have had it any other way” He says as he kisses me again and smiles.

 

“You know I didn’t leave the room, when I said I went out I was lying. I stayed in the room, hoping that by using the card you would come after me” I say as I sway my hips moving to the fridge. 

 

“Well I kinda figured you were alone, the only thing that made it seem like you had company was the fact that you ordered a lot of room service. I would have thought someone was helping you eat it but then I remembered who we were dealing with, my Sunshine. There would have been twice as much if you would have had company with you” he slaps my ass and we both laugh.

 

“Ya, well you were happier I spent it on me then going out and finding someone else.”

 

“True, otherwise your debt would have went up a few thousand dollars to pay for my anger management therapy, that I would have to serve for beating whoever I would have found fucking you” he says.

 

“I always knew you were jealous, it was obvious way before I ran to New York.”

 

“If you say so Sunshine” we both laugh knowing that I am right.

 

We take a cab to the airport, not wanting to worry about finding a parking spot for the vet. We go through the process of checking our bags in and carrying the important stuff with us on the plane. We go through security only to have a good-looking security official look Brian and me over. If this was a few years ago, we would have told him to take a bathroom break.

 

I look at Brian, who smirks at me, and I know he is thinking the same thing. He leans into me and whispers “We don’t play those games anymore Sunshine, but in another time or place, he would have looked hot with your dick stuck up his tight ass” he says and I smirk, blushing. 

 

We make our way to the gate and find a seat. Brian sits down and pulls me on top of his lap. 

 

“Brian, we could get in trouble.” 

 

“Let them say something” he says as we look at this lady with a child in her lap. Brian smiles at me and says “One day baby, we will have a big family” he kisses me and the lady covers the child’s eyes.

 

“What, you can kiss your baby but I can’t?” Brian asks the lady who gets up and moves and Brian just huffs and we both laugh.

 

“So Sunshine, what will you do while I am at the office?” Brian asks me.

 

“I’ll work on my project for class. And then just hang out and wait for my man to get back so I can give him some sweet old timing loving” I whisper into his ear. 

 

“You keep this up Sunshine and we will have to go into the restroom.” 

 

“Save it for the plane Brian. The mile high club.” I smirk at him and he looks at me in shock. 

 

“Shit, you are serious aren’t you?” I nod my head and kiss him.

 

“Damn we need to get up in the air soon then.” I lean my head on his shoulder.

 

They finally call us to load the plane for first class. I always love going on ahead of people. This way if I see someone from my old school who would pick on me or say shit can see me sitting in first class, with a drink and I can give them a look of ‘yeah I made it.’ 

 

Then again it’s rude to act like that, but hey, after what I went through, I’m aloud to gloat a little. 

 

We enter the plane and sit in our seats as the other peasants load the plane. Ok not peasants, but it is funny to think like a king sometimes.

 

After we take off I undo my seat belt and tell Brian I’m going to the restroom and if he wants to spank his baby and get into the mile high club to meet me there.

 

I am not in there less then three minutes when Brian crawls in with me and shuts the door. I unzip his pants and sit him down as I climb on top of him, riding him fast and hard, trying to conceal the moans as I am pounding myself onto my boyfriend whom in return is slamming up into me. 

 

He jerks me off as we both reach our earth shattering orgasms. I lean my head onto him and he kisses my neck. “Talk about flying, damn Justin, you know how to fly me, rev me up and then me up in the air and make a long hard landing which was amazingly quiet this time” he says.

 

We both laugh and I look into his eyes. “Well you taught me well.” I climb off and clean myself off. I hand him the towel and kiss him. “I’ll meet you back at the seats” as I exit the restroom the flight attendant smiles at me. 

 

When we were both back in our seats, Brian opened his case and looked over his proposal. 

 

I look over my project, getting some ideas. When we are on the ground and on our way to the hotel Brian looks at me, smiling. 

 

“What?” I ask 

 

“You are amazing. I am glad that we are together.”

 

“Me to, now stop staring at me. It’s making me nervous.” I smile at him.

 

“Why, I took my medicine.” 

 

“No, Brian, nervous as in embarrassed.” I am about to say more but we pulled up in front of the hotel. The same hotel that I stayed at the first time, I know Brian must have planned this but I won’t bring it up.

 

Once upstairs in the room Brian looks at the boards that were delivered a few hours earlier. 

 

“SHIT, fucking shit” I hear Brian yell.

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

“All these fucking boards are messed up. They aren’t right, these are the old ones” he says and hits one of them. Taking out his cell he calls ‘the boss’ and tells him he needs to get the right ones to him as soon as possible.

 

Brian shut his phone and looked at me. “I’m going to take a shower Justin. Then I think I need a nap after that long, hard, exhausting flight.” I nod my head smiling. 

 

Brian’s POV

 

After taking a shower and about a two-hour nap I wake up hoping Justin would be taking a nap next to me, but when I look over I find that he is not there beside me. I get up and walk into the living room where Justin is sitting at the computer desk drawing something and I figured he is working on his project.

 

“You keep this up it will be done by tonight and you wont have anything to work on while I’m working” I tell him as I go to get a drink from the kitchen. This hotel is nice, they have it made up to look like a little apartment. I smile thinking that there is no way I could live in a place so small.

 

“I am hoping to have it done tonight you need it tomorrow.” Justin tells me from the other room. ‘What the hell is he talking about?’ I wonder.

 

I walk over to where he is sitting and look down at what he was doing “Justin, this isn’t your project it’s the boards for tomorrow. These are fucking incredible you added the perfect colors and made the layout exactly like I wanted it. How do you always know what I am looking for?” I say as I kiss him and look at the boards again. ‘I cannot believe he did this he is always saving my ass.’

 

“Well I knew when you wanted me and I just go from there” he says with a huge smile on his face. “You needed these tomorrow and let’s face it they wouldn’t have those other boards here by then” he says as he keeps on with the task of fixing the boards. I keep looking at the boards and how good his work is and I can’t help but wonder why we don’t have him working at the agency.

 

“I don’t know why you won’t come to work for us” I finally say as I take in his work. He smiles as he seems to think about what I just said. 

 

“Umm…because then you would have to see me twenty-four hours a day and I would end up getting on your nerves, or you would get on mine.” Justin answers with a small laugh and I nod my head. ‘That is probably true’ I think.

 

“Plus then you wouldn’t have time to work on things you want to do.” I say as I smile at him. 

 

“True well, I just have a few more things to do on this and it’s done” Justin tells me. He finishes it and when he does I can really see that he is so fucking talented.

 

I take a drink and pull Justin on top of me running my hands down his back “Justin Taylor, you are fucking incredible.” 

 

“I know.” He smirks as I slap his ass. “Hey” he says as he laughs at me.

 

“Don’t be so coy Sunshine.” 

 

**

 

The next few days go by without a hitch. The meetings were great and they loved the boards and even joked that we should keep the person who did them on the payroll, I told them I would talk to the artist about that. 

 

I get back to the hotel to find Justin lying on the bed with his headphones on and bouncing his head with his hand moving over the paper. He finished his project the first day I was away from the room and spent the rest of his time sketching. 

 

I move over and lean on top of him, slapping his butt and making him jump. He took the head set off and looked at me.

 

“What?” I ask him.

 

“You fucking scared me” he says, I laugh and kiss him. “Sorry now get dressed we have dinner plans” I tell him as I move to get off him.

 

We shower and two blowjobs and a fuck later we are dressed and walking out the door. I never thought that I would be in a relationship and like it.

 

We get to the restaurant and sit down. Justin is looking around and smiling when he catches my eyes, he really is a true artist sucking in detail after detail of the restaurant.

 

“This is a very nice place Brian” he says as he continues to look around before his eyes settle on me.

 

“I am glad you like it, nothing but the best for my Sunshine” I tell him as I lean over and kiss him on the cheek.

 

We have a nice dinner and I even danced with him in front of everyone, which probably shocked me more than it shocked Justin. We leave the restaurant and decide to head out to the park. 

 

We sit down after walking for a bit and I pull Justin down on top of me and kiss his neck “Justin thank you for coming with me” I tell him.

 

“You don’t have to thank me. You needed me and I won’t ever leave you when you need me” He says and turns his head so his lips can meet mine. 

 

“Justin, that’s not the only reason I wanted you here with me” I say after we have sat in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes with him trying to remember the scene so he can sketch and me trying to build up the nerve to say what I want.

 

“It’s not?” He says and looks at me, wondering what is going on. 

 

“No it’s not.”

 

I reach around take his hands in mine and lean my head on his back. I put my mouth right to his ear and being to whisper “I love you Justin Taylor, you are the most incredible and amazing man I have ever known. I know I used to say that love was for straight people and lesbians, but that was before I met you. You have changed my whole world Justin and I love you.” 

 

“I love you to Brian” Justin tells me through tears. 

 

“Hold on Sunshine I’m not finished yet, what I want is… “I reach in my pocket and pull out a box, open it and kiss Justin’s neck. “Close your eyes a second” I tell him and when he does I place the box in front of him and tell him to open his eyes, which he does, looking down at what I have in my hand he gasps. 

 

“Justin, I love you and I want you to be my Sunshine forever. So, will you make this lesbo-man happy and marry me?” I ask. ‘God Brian you are such a bitch’ and I wouldn’t change it for the world I think.

 

Justin looks at the rings and back at me. He repeats the action several times before I start to get worried.

 

“Well say something Sunshine” I cannot believe he is pausing its killing me.

 

“If I say something I might wake up from this dream” he whispers.

 

“Oh baby this is no dream” I say as I kiss him.

 

“Oh GOD are you serious, you sure it’s not a dream” he says. 

 

“Baby it is not a dream” he turns and looks at me and for a moment I stopped breathing.

 

“Yes, yes, FUCK YES” he says as he turns fully in my lap and wraps his arms around me and kisses me with reckless abandon, I am glad that the park was somewhat empty but the few people who did witness the exchange ‘nosey assholes’ are clapping for us.

 

“I cannot believe it” he says as I remove the platinum bands from the box and place one on his finger and he places the other on mine. 

 

We sit facing each other with our foreheads touching. I have never been happier in my life, I know that when we go back I would have to go and see Dr. Mitchell again but right now in this moment all our other cares are gone and only we exist.

 

“So where do you want to get married?” I ask him as he lay’s with his head on my lap after finally releasing me from his love grip.

 

“Right Here” he says. I could swear he just said right here.

 

“Right… where?” I ask him as I look around at my surroundings.

 

“Right here in the park right now with just the two of us” he says as he sits up and sits cross-legged on the bench facing me. I turn so that I am facing him.

 

“But there is no one here, I figured you would want friends and family and a minister or something to give us vows” I say as he shakes his head no to all of it.

 

“I don’t need any of that and I don’t want someone to have you say promises that you would think are bullshit. I say we do it ourselves and let the terms rest between you and me” he says and I have to admit I like this idea and I realize that it’s all he really does want and really it is truly what I prefer.

 

“Okay, so, who goes first?” I ask as he volunteers to go.

 

“I promise that I will call you on your bullshit and I promise that I will try not to leave my clothes everywhere. I promise to talk with you before making big decisions and I promise that through it all I will love you and support you, even when I think you are wrong I will have your back. I promise to try…” he says and stops as he smiles at me.

 

“You promise to try what?” I ask him.

 

“Nothing, I just promise to try” he says and I understand what he is saying.

 

I take a deep breath and begin “I love you, I have ever since I saw you and I promise to never stop, I promise to let you top sometimes and I promise to include you in decisions. I promise that if I ever feel out of control I will talk to you and I promise that I will try to share my feelings and I promise to eat pizza with you at least sometimes” I say and we both laugh.

 

“And I also promise… to try” I say. We kiss a kiss so deep that it feels as if our souls have mingled and I think that this ceremony was perfect for us.

 

“Let’s go back to the room Sunshine before we have to face the outside world again” I tell him as I take his hand in mine and help him up. We walk to the room where things are sure to heat up.


	5. Many Faces of Kinney

Justin’s POV

 

“Five years…”

“We have been married for… FIVE YEARS” he tells me as I snuggle into his arms. 

“I know I can’t believe it either, it feels like it’s been longer than that though” I say as we lie here freshly fucked and happy. 

Brian has not had a single episode since he started his medication and the events that happened seem like a different life now, a distant memory. I graduated from P.I.F.A six months after we got back from New York. I think that Brian was the proudest of anyone. He quit his job and opened his own advertising firm; Kinnetik Inc is now one of the biggest advertising firms in the country and is getting ready to launch an international campaign. I decided after working with Brian at Kinnetik for two years that I was going to open my own gallery, we bought a building and had it renovated. It is very successful and the commissions that I earn from them have placed Brian and me in a very comfortable lifestyle. 

We often talked about having kids so when we finally decided that we were ready we asked Lindsay to carry a baby for us, after a long, long, talk with Melanie she finally said that she would and now here we are the proud fathers of a beautiful little girl named Taylor Kinney, Brian thought that that was the funniest thing he could do. I remember when I saw what he put on the birth certificate I just shook my head and said ‘Brian you do know that she is going to get teased enough right.’

“That’s okay she has my blood and your influence, she can take it” had been his reply as we watched her sleep in her bassinet. Now she was two years old and we were choosing a preschool for her to go to. We got up and took a shower and got dressed, I left Brian still dressing in the bedroom to go and check on Taylor. She was very quiet and artistic, I often wonder how much comes from Lindsay and how much comes from her spending the past two years held up in my studio all day.

I was watching her color at her table in her room when Brian came up and slipped his arms around me.

“She got so big so fast” I say to him.

“Yeah she did, maybe it’s time we had another one” he says and I look at him “Are you serious, we are just getting this one into preschool.”

“I know but she is so cute and growing up way too quick” he says “Plus you could have it this time and it would look just like you” he added trying to butter the pot.

“Yeah…whatever, since you find the little one so cute you can do the tough job of getting your freedom loving daughter into some clothes” I said and went to make some coffee. Taylor hated clothes and getting her into them deserved a medal. 

“Fine, I shall wrestle with the beast” he says as he enters her room. I can hear the squeals as she yells “Daddy.”

In the kitchen I start the coffee and the water to make Taylor her oatmeal, that’s all she eats is oatmeal and it drives Brian crazy. He always tries to get her to eat other stuff and slowly she is branching out into other food. She has a Kinney edge that lingers just below the surface and I know that Brian is concerned about her developing a disorder too, he never talks about it but I know that that possibility is always in the back of his mind.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the naked streak that blew past me like lightening. Brian followed after the ball of energy and stopped in front of me.

“Where is the little Tasmanian devil?” he asked. Just then giggles were heard from inside the cabinet, he bent down to open it and there sat Taylor in all her glory. He reached in a grabbed her slippery body with the towel he had and wrapped her up.

“Yeah having two would be wonderful” I joked as he walked back toward her bedroom.

“I should have known that naming her Taylor would make her hard to control” he said.

“Yeah but this Taylor did not run from you, I ran to you” I tell him as I turn off the water and start to make her oatmeal.

**   
We were finally able to get ourselves together and out of the house. I took Taylor to spend the day with Vic. I had an important client that was coming to discuss a rather large commissioned piece that I had been working on for the better part of a year. He was a real asshole who, to make matters worse, just happened to be the same guy who Brian had changed his mind about fucking. I was just taking in a deep breath when my assistant told me that he was waiting. 

“Hello Mr. Telson” I say shaking his hand and plastering a big smile on my face. When I told Brian that Telson was my new client he laughed his ass off.

“Mr. Taylor, I have come to check on the progress of the piece that I am paying for” he says and I bite my tongue ‘separate personal feelings from business’ I can hear Brian saying, even though many times he has blurred the lines. “Sure… right this way” I tell him as I lead him into another part of the gallery.

“Wow Mr. Taylor I have to hand it to you, this piece is well worth the money” he says as he circles the structure.

“Thank you Mr. Telson I tried to follow your description closely” I tell him. The piece was very detailed; a sculpture put together of various metals and marble made to appear as if it was floating in the air weightless even though it weighed at least 1,000 pounds.

“When do you think it will be done?” he asks.

“The end of the week is what I am shooting for Mr. Telson but that is provided that you have no changes you want made or anything that you want added.”

“No I think that what you have done is perfect” he said as he continued to walk around the sculpture taking it all in.

“Well then I think we can discuss the remainder of your payment” I say as I tell my assistant to lock the sculpture back up while I lead Mr. Telson to my office to finalize his payment.

“Well Mr. Taylor hopefully the 4 million dollars that I have paid for this sculpture will lead us into a wonderful relationship” he says as he stands to shake my hand.

‘In your fucking dreams asshole’ I think. “Oh yes I would love to do more work for you sir” I say.

I walk him out the gallery and watch as he talks to the person who got out the back. From the looks of them I would say they were brothers or at least close friends, I suppressed the sick feeling I got and turned to go back into my office.

**  
Telson’s POV

‘I hate that fucking Justin Taylor’ I think as we drive down the street.

“Marty what is wrong with you, you have had that look on your face since you came from seeing Mr. Taylor” my brother says to me. I only put up with him because he is my brother because sometimes he is annoying but he also knows about my extracurricular activities and keeps the knowledge to himself, probably because he does the same thing.

“Do you know who Justin Taylor is married to” he asks me from behind the business page of the local paper.

“No and I honestly could care less who he is married to” I say as I look out the window. 

“Really, even if he was the spouse of a very prominent Advertising Executive, namely Mr. Brian Kinney” he says as he turns the paper around to show me a picture of the couple at a recent gathering of Advertising giants.

“Holy Shit, are you telling me that…”

“Justin Taylor is really Justin Taylor- Kinney, yup, so you might just be able to get back at Kinney after all. Why waste a golden opportunity?” he says as I snatch the paper and read the article.

“Umm…you make a good point.”

**  
“I don’t wanna go home Papa, I wanna stay wif grampa Vic” Taylor says as I come through the door.

“God I could not even get through the door this time before she starts screaming and crying” I say to Vic, she loves Vic always has.

“Yeah I think that she is trying to set a record” he says as he tries to peel her from his leg. 

“Taylor if you don’t go home with Papa then you won’t see Daddy” he tells her. She stops crying right away, she always does when someone mentions Brian she knows that he does not let her get away with all the screaming and crying.

I grab her coat off the hook and proceed to pry her free from Vic and put it on her. “Thanks for watching her Vic I really appreciate it, that fucking Tolsen is an asshole” I tell him.

“Asshole, asshole” Taylor repeats and I roll my eyes.

“Okay Taylor say bye to Vic” I instruct her. “Bye Vic” she says as she pulls me out the door.  
**  
“Brian” I yell as I walk through the door. I listen for some nuance of life in the house as I bend down to take off Taylor’s coat. I don’t hear anything so I assume he is still at work.  
I let Taylor go and turn to the answering machine as I take off my jacket.   
_  
Beep…_

_“Mr. Taylor I was so impressed by your work that I felt compelled to ask you to join me for dinner to celebrate the completion of the piece” I hear as the answering machine relays its saved message._  
  
“Fucking shit, now he wants to take me to dinner. I am never going to shake this guy” I say to Taylor as if she knows or cares what I am talking about. She just shakes her head and holds her cup up to me. “Juice, Papa, Juice” she says and I smile as I take the cup from her and wonder how I can get out of this dinner, even though I know it will be impossible.

“Juice, Papa, Pwease” she says. I smile down at her; I am so proud that things have worked out how they have. I wouldn’t trade my little girl for anything. Now Brian wants to have another one. 

I pick her up and head into the kitchen and get her some juice. She’s such a good child that I am starting to think that having one more may not be such a bad idea. She loves juice and things good for her, but her favorite thing to eat is her Grandma Deb’s lemon bars. She can eat more of those then I can. Hell she could eat more then Brian and I combined, if Brian ate as many lemon bars as I did.

I look through the mail as she finishes her juice, when she does she is gone to play like a flash of lightening. I open the cabinets and wonder what I am going to make for dinner. I start to put the chicken on and by the time it is done Taylor is barely hanging on and Brian is not home yet. I feed her dinner and waited until almost 8 o’clock to start getting her ready for bed, she was asking for her daddy but when I mentioned reading a story she immediately took off to get a book. We sit on the couch as I read her her favorite story, Green Eggs and Ham. No matter how many times we read it, she always asks ‘one more time Papa.’ She loves Dr. Seuss; I used to love him until I learned all his stories by heart, especially Green Eggs and Ham. 

On about the sixth time of reading it I see Brian sneak in and right before she finished saying her favorite line Brian jumped in with her “I do like them Sam I am” he says with her.

“Daddy” She yelled as she jumped up to hug him, kicking me in the stomach as she goes up in the air into Brian’s arms. 

“Taylor, tell Papa you’re sorry for kicking him” Brian is always making sure she keeps her manners.

“Sowwy Papa” 

“It’s ok. Just be careful” I tell her as she turns her attention quickly back to Brian.

“Yere late daddy” Taylor reminds him. “We started wifout you” she said as he hugged her and put her down.

“Sorry Baby, work went over. Hey Sunshine” He said with a grin as he kissed me and walked by toward the bedroom. 

**  
A couple of minutes later Brian came out of the bedroom, he had changed into some comfortable clothes and was looking sexy as hell. After reading Green eggs and Ham about ten more times, Taylor is was out like a light. We put her to bed and as we both kissed our angel good night I knew that I would definitely be caving on this baby issue.

**  
“How was your day Sunshine?” Brian asks me as he kissed me deeply. We had moved into our own bedroom after we put Taylor to bed and the night was just getting started.

“It was fine, just long.”

“How did it go with Telson?” 

I look at him for a second; I am actually shocked that he remembered. He smiled at the look on my face. “I didn’t forget” he said.

“Well it went great, he loved the piece so much that he wants to take me out to dinner to celebrate the sell.” 

“He wants to what?”

“Take me to dinner” I say again as I look at him.

“Justin, did he make any moves on you?” he asked as he looks at me with his way of knowing if I am lying.

“No, but I did get that strange feeling. I am thinking of canceling.”

“Okay, look, you don’t need this sell that bad to go to dinner but at the same time, it’s just dinner, in public.” 

“So you think I should go?” I ask as I look into his eyes for any suggestions as to what he is thinking.

“I think you should Justin, he’s a businessman you’re a businessman. Just go, eat, have a drink, make a fucking toast and come home.” He leans me back on the bed again. “Then you can come home and I will fuck him out of your thoughts” he said as he started kissing down my neck. For the rest of the night he fucked everything out of my head, my body, my muscles…everything. The only thing that was left was the vision of my husband, making love to me.

**  
The next day at work I pick up the phone and call Mr. Telson, he picked up the phone like he was expecting a call from me at that exact moment.

“Hello?” 

“Hi Mr. Telson it’s Justin Taylor. I got your message and would love to have dinner with you tonight” I say knowing that I would rather be anywhere but at that dinner.

“That’s great Mr. Taylor. I will see you at Papagano’s at six” He tells me.

“Six it is” I reply as I hang the phone up. The day went by without any other problems; the dinner with Telson was enough.

**  
I get to the restaurant a little early and am seated right away. I am looking at the menu wanting to end this night faster then planned when I see Telson approaching the table. I take a deep breath and let it out just as he reaches the table. 

“Mr. Taylor, I see you beat me here. Have you ordered your drink yet?” 

“Not yet. I just got here a few minutes ago as well.”

He takes the seat next to me and moves closer to me, I move my chair a little. We order our dinner and make a toast while we wait. “To new beginnings and new business opportunities” he says, I nod my head as we clink our glasses together. Telson swallows his in one gulp while I just sip on mine. We start to chit-chat about business and the time starts to fall away.

The food gets to us as we continue our talk on business. Then he changes it to personal. 

“I heard you managed to saddle the infamous Brian Kinney and that the two of you now have a daughter” he says as nonchalantly as possible. 

“Yeah I have and yeah we do” I say as I try to make it clear that I do not like where the conversation is going.

“That is great news” he says as he puts his hand on my leg, I very discreetly push it off as he leans over to my ear. 

“He’s a handful” he says as he laughs, like we are both on the same page. I move away as to reach for a drink when he leans over placing his hand on my leg again and whispers “He’s a lucky man.” 

“I know he is; I need to go. I have to pick my daughter up from her Grandma’s house. I am sure we will speak again soon, Please contact my office for any future business needs. I look forward to working with you again” I say as I stand up from the table.

“I guess the business is all you have on the market, huh Justin? I am willing to pay you for your…services tonight. Ten grand, what do you say?” 

I look at him in shock. “Mr. Telson, I am not for sale and I would appreciate any comments of that sort to be kept to yourself in the future or I will have to pull my business from you. Have a good evening.” I say as I walk away from the table.

**

When I get home and see Brian sitting on the couch looking at some pictures. I sit next to him and roll my head over the back of the sofa. 

“Where’s Taylor?”

“She is in bed after bugging me to death to read Green Eggs and Ham.”

“Did you read it?” I ask as I kick off my shoes.

“Yes, until she told me that I did not read like Papa” he says and I kiss him on the cheek “At least you tried baby” I tell him.

“So how was your dinner?”

I moan loudly before I answer and Brian laughs “Remind me never to have dinner with that asshole again.” 

“You mean the asshole that you were having a good time and laughing with” he says and shows me the pictures. “Where the fuck did these pictures come from” I say out loud.

“They were delivered right before you got here.”

“Oh fuck Brian, it wasn’t like this. He was whispering in my ear about you and then offered me ten grand to have sex with him.”

“He did what?” he all but screams.

“He offered me ten grand…ten fucking thousand dollars to fuck him” I say again slowly so I could be sure he heard.

“Well the nerve of that asshole, you are worth so much more then that. How fucking rude, such a low price to pay for a tad of Sunshine” he says and I smack him upside the head. He smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders. 

“Looks like someone is playing a dirty game Sunshine” he says. I take the pictures from him; I do not want to think about him anymore tonight. “Brian, remember when you said you would fuck him out of my mind? Please do that.” 

He smirks at me as he takes me in his arms and takes me to the room, making love to me all night, just like he promised.   
**

The next day I am sitting at my desk making the final adjustments when Mr. Telson walks in and takes a seat.

“Justin, I wanted to say sorry.”

“The name is Mr. Taylor Kinney, Telson” I hear as I look up to find Brian at the doorway.

“Brian… How are you?” Telson says, obviously unnerved.

“Don’t play games with me. Look, I know what you did and Justin is worth a lot more then what you offered. If you ever fucking proposition my husband again, you and I will have it out. We have had better people try to come between us and it hasn’t worked. Hell I am one of them, but we stuck together and made it and I will be damned if I will let someone like you come in and try to destroy what we worked so hard to build. Now, with that said, I will leave you to the business side of this deal. Justin, I will see you at home” he says as he kisses me and heads for the door.

“Oh Sunshine, I will pick up Taylor. Just come home early.” 

“Later Brian.” I wave to him and turn back to the business at hand. 

“I can tell he loves you, never thought I would see the day that the great stud was sane” Mr. Telson said before we signed the finished documents.

“I would still pay for you…any day.” 

“Mr. Telson I am flattered you would do that, but honestly, I wouldn’t have done it and won’t do it for all the money in the world.” 

“Well, I’ll say it again, He’s a lucky man.” 

“No, Mr. Telson, I am the lucky one.” I smile at the thought of my man, barging into my office to defend my honor. ‘Yeah, I’m the lucky one.’

**  
Telson’s POV

I leave Justin’s office undeterred; I always get what I want. Kinney prevented that once but not this time.

This time I will get exactly what I want, and I want Justin Taylor.


End file.
